your weekly guide to the stars, sun and (full) moon

August 23, 2021

The full moon in Aquarius brings a sense of urgency, meaning it’s go time this week. This celestial event is pushing things to happen NOW, one way or another — so make sure you know where the closest bathroom is, just in case a dire shituation crops up and you need to make an emergency exit.

Aries

Your impulsive nature comes in handy as the full moon ushers in a sense of urgency when it comes to your future goals. This week’s motto: Doo what you gotta doo.

Taurus

Your reputation and status could hinge on an urgent shituation this week, Taurus. So do your doody to remind everyone you’re the shit and let your hardworking nature shine.

Gemini

Do the shit that inspires you this week, Gemini, even if it means blowing off some other plans. That could mean hopping on a last-minute flight, but trust your gut.

Cancer

You’re on a roll when it comes to romance this week, Cancer. With intimacy on the horizon, we have just one turd of advice: Just doo it.

Leo

It’s a big week for you when it comes to romantic situations, Leo. So if you’ve been waiting to ask someone to go steady, now’s the time: Shit or get off the pot.

Virgo

This week brings an urgent shituation at work. A big project deadline could get pushed up — but as usual, your organized and perfectionist poo-sonality saves the day.

Libra

It’s the poofect week for having fun, social butterfly — so drop the kids off at the pool and go meet your favorite pals for some much-needed party time.

Scorpio

This week could bring a time-sensitive situation on the homefront. It might be as big as putting in an offer on a new home — or just an urgent race to the toilet after eating too many spicy snacks.

Sagittarius

Hear that internal rumbling, Sag? It’s your travel bug talking, and it’s telling you it’s go time. So go ahead and buy that plane ticket to the far-off destination you’ve been daydreaming of on the toilet.

Capricorn

Some urgent financial issues might be dumped on you this week, Cap, but your responsible nature means you’re probably poo-pared for that. Take proper action and you’ll be flush with cash.

Aquarius

Oh Aquarius, you’re truly one of a kind, and this week is the right time to focus on where you’re headed in life — so doo what you gotta doo to move forward (and quickly).

Pisces

It’s a great week for completions. So whether it’s a conversation you’ve been needing to have, or just tossing your empty bottle of Poo~Pourri and replacing it with a fresh one — wrap that shit up.