Awkward Odor: A Series Of Secret Stinky Submissions, Part 4 – ~Pourri

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Awkward Odor: A Series Of Secret Stinky Submissions, Part 4

Odor can be annoying. We’re talking cringe, awkward, and even as aggressive as a roundhouse kick to the face. But the beauty of every smelly situation is that it always ends in a stinkin’ hilarious story. It’s tradition around here for new hires to share their most vulnerable moments with odor on their first day. That’s why we’ve compiled a series of secret tales straight from the people that know exactly how jarring funky fumes can be—the ~Pourri employees themselves!

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The Mystery Smell

So when I was 13, I was lying on my bed, just chilling. All of a sudden, I smelled the nastiest smell. I started looking around my room to see where the smell was coming from, but couldn’t find it for the life of me. I called my mom into the room to help me search for it. I thought maybe there was rotten food or a dead animal or something under my bed. She couldn’t find anything either, and said she didn’t smell anything, so she proceeded to spray my comforter down with some perfume to help cover up whatever it might be. It helped a little bit, but the next day I smelled it again! And this continued for a few weeks... That is until I realized where the smell was coming from... ME. I was hitting puberty and smelling RIPE. And that was the first time I realized I needed to wear deodorant.

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A Chihuahua Betrayal

We used to have a family pet named Shadow. She was a tiny little hairless chihuahua with a heart of gold. Unless you looked at her or breathed the wrong way. Then she wanted to rip your face off. Anyway, we loved her regardless and when she passed, the family got together to talk about our favorite memories of her. Our family friend was there, too, and she decided to drop a bomb on us. She said, “Hey, do you remember how Shadow used to fart all the time and it was like THE WORST smelling farts you could ever imagine? Um... Well, that wasn’t Shadow. That was me the whole time. I just used to blame it on her because... they were so bad I knew that no one would question it.” Apparently, she felt so guilty about it that she had to come clean to us and clear her conscience. It was honestly one of the funniest moments of my life.

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Cheesy Feet Catastrophe

Let me set the scene: I’m at a music festival, circa 2010—think Coachella but swampier. Given the year, everyone wore different variations of those rounded toe ballet flats (which made for the absolute stinkiest, sweatiest feet, omg). Our group missed the deadline to reserve a campsite and had to sleep in our car. I could not sleep at all because the air in the car was just THICK with feet smells. I could almost taste it. Cheesy, funky, sour, blech. Because we were in the middle of nowhere, the other option was to open the windows and get eaten alive by bugs. I feel bad now for my reaction—it’s like being mad at a snorer for snoring, obviously not their fault. But I’ll never forget the blind rage I felt towards my friends for their body odors. Friends don’t keep friends awake with ass feet.

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Dealing with your own uncomfortable odor?

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