This is Why You Aren't Pooping Like You Used To
A young Steve Jobs once stood on a stage and proclaimed that "the iPhone would eventually become an extension of ourselves." That, as humans, we will be so connected to our smart phones that we won’t be able to feel whole without them. We scoffed and shrugged it off; fast forward to 2017 and we are more attached to our technology than ever. We can’t even take five minutes to ourselves, without our phones, to drop a deuce.
Did you know that when you have to take a poop, that it is actually your brain's way of telling your body that it needs a break?
Our society has peaked to new heights of convenience with instant access to the internet. The moment we are without our phones we feel cut off to the world and isolated-with what, our own dull thoughts? That’s why we take our phones with us everywhere, bathroom included. This has affected the way that we utilize our time in the privy in a huge, unbeknownst way. A recent study done by True Wireless Confessions shows that an astounding 90% of Americans take their cell phones with them into the bathroom, while only 40% use their phones at the dinner table. We’ve taken FOMO to a whole new level in 2017. James Roberts, a professor at Baylor University has studied and written about phone addiction and says “[our devices] certainly have changed how we spend our time in the bathroom… When we take our phones away, we get stressed, and anxious, and irritable.” Note: that moment of panic when your cell phone hits 10% battery.
What we don’t take into consideration is the absurd number of germs that we are tracking around with us because of our constant need to be in touch with society. You can find hundreds of bacteria on your cell phone from just one trip to the bathroom. So even if you are washing your hands before you exit the gift shop, so to speak, you will still be contaminated because of the fungi, yeast and other bacteria that has found sanctuary on your phone sweet phone. Gross. By taking your phone into the bathroom with you, and then placing it on the kitchen counter, you have just successfully passed E. coli to whoever decides to eat there next.
Another mentionable gem about taking our cell phones with us to the bathroom is the increased likelihood of a hemorrhoid. Dr. Partha Nandi, of Ask Dr. Nandi, said “When you stay on the toilet for upwards of 20, 30, 40 minutes, you’re putting unnecessary pressure on the rectum, which can cause hemorrhoids, and definitely make any pre-existing hemorrhoids way worse.” She told Thrillist online “By prolonging this pressure on the rectum, you can exacerbate gastrointestinal issues, and a problem that is moderate, like going too much or too little, can become very severe… When you just sit there after you’re done, being sucked into your phone, that becomes a problem.” Maybe now you can tweet about how bad your sphincter feels.
A recent study done by True Wireless Confessions shows that an astounding 90% of Americans take their cell phones with them into the bathroom
So now that we’ve covered your germs and your rear, let’s talk about that thing bouncing around behind your eyes, your brain. Believe it or not, you need to shut your brain down now and then and give it a well-deserved break. Before technology we could use the bathroom as a momentary distraction from reality, and spend our precious down time daydreaming or simply not thinking at all. Did you know that when you have to take a poop, that it is actually your brain's way of telling your body that it needs a break? Go ahead, you deserve it, take 10 minutes out of your work day and get paid to shut your brain down; those emails will still be there when you get back to your desk.
We realize that letting go of social media and the access to infinite information can sound terrifying, but, we are challenging you to just try it once. Leave your phone on the kitchen counter, on your desk, in your purse, wherever just leave it, and see how you feel after an undistracted deuce. We’ll let it slide this time though; we know you’re reading this on the john.