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10 Things Anyone Who Has Ever Pooped Understands
So, literally everyone.
If you’ve ever had to poop—which we’re guessing you have—here are 10 things you’ve probably experienced:
1. The feeling when you’ve had to poop for a while and finally get to go to the bathroom.
Bathroom bliss. Excrement ecstasy. A defecation dream. Poophoria. Whatever you might call it, it’s that sweet, sweet moment when you can finally release all of the crap that’s been building up inside of you. Did you know that pooping has both physiological and psychological effects that make it feel so stinkin' good?! You can read about it here.
2. When you finish pooping and realize there’s no toilet paper.
You give your final push only to have your whole life flash before you as you realize you’re all out of toilet paper. Do you yell out for help? Do you waddle to grab more? Call 911?! Okay, fine maybe don’t call 911. But this is a serious shituation. Just not that serious.
3. Pooping in a public bathroom and someone comes into the stall right next to yours. Like, why?!
A room has never felt as small—or as intimate—as when someone sits in the stall right next to you while you’re doing your thing. We’re flattered you want to be so close to us, but also… could we have some privacy?
4. When someone only has single-ply toilet paper.
Don’t be a deucebag. Splurge on the extra ply. Your bathroom guests (and their behinds) will thank you.
5. Needing to poop at work and trying to decide whether to go at work or wait until you get home.
Do you let it ride at your 9 to 5 or wait to file your porcelain paperwork in the privacy of your own personal potty? TIP: Always have Poo~Pourri on hand so you can strut your stuff alllll the way to the office stall.
6. Having a shitstorm come out of nowhere.
We’ve all been there. You’re going on with your day when BAM. Storm’s a brewin’. And fast. Here’s hoping you can find a bathroom—and quickly.
7. When you have a public bathroom all to yourself.
It’s like a pooping paradise. This is your moment to shine and do your thing in complete peace. Ahhh push. Push it real good.
8. When you walk into a store and have to poop immediately.
What is it about Target that makes us feel like we’ve just taken an entire bottle of laxatives?!
9. Taking a shower, getting ready then needing to poop.
Why do we always get the urge riiiiiight after we go through all that?
10. Taking a smelly, knock-the-wind-out-of-you kind of poop.
Listen, it happens to all of us (that’s why we exist). Spritz the bowl with Poo~Pourri to stop bathroom odor before it ever begins.